There is no one definition for love — just think of all the songs, poems, and stories that try to capture its essence. It is an impossible task, but one that people will not stop pursuing. Why? Because humans are wired to want love. From parental affection to romantic relationships, love is an influential factor in how people experience life. It may be difficult to pin down the definition of love, but one thing is clear: there is overwhelming evidence that there is a link between love and mental health.
The Science of Love
It is not just poets and writers who are interested in love. Science is also fascinated by the concept. Years of research give us some idea of what happens when people are in love. According to Stephanie Cacioppo, PhD, “Love is a biological necessity—it’s as needed for our well-being as exercise, water, and food.”1
In her studies of people in love, Cacioppo discovered that there are areas of the brain that release dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline, which make people feel good as well as excited. There are also indications that the amygdala, the hippocampus, and the prefrontal cortex are stimulated and receive more blood when a person talks about their loved ones. These findings are significant because these parts of the brain are associated with pleasure and rewards.
Love clearly has an effect on biological functions. In an analysis of 64 published articles on marital interactions over the past 10 years, researchers concluded that a positive experience can lead to better health because of lower stress levels and improved immune systems.2
The Connection Between Love and Mental Health
Humans are social creatures, but we need to learn how to form healthy and loving relationships. Love can have a protective effect on a person’s mental health. Aside from the biological effects of love, such as the increase of feel-good hormones in the body, there are also mental effects. People who feel loved are less likely to experience depression and anxiety. Self-esteem rises and there is a tendency to look at life more positively. There is also a greater support system in place when a person has a strong connection with another.
On the other hand, a person who feels unloved can struggle with feelings of alienation or despair. This can lead to unhealthy behaviors such as people-pleasing and lack of boundaries in order to “earn” approval from others. As a psychologist, I have observed that it is possible, if not likely, that someone who feels unloved might sacrifice their needs for the sake of human connection.
There is a prevailing belief in psychology that we learn how to connect with others as early as infancy, and early life experiences can affect the quality of relationships later on. Rooted in the work of John Bowlby in the 1930s, attachment theory emphasizes the importance of caregivers and their ability to help the child feel safe and secure. Simply said, a child who was cared for has an easier time maintaining relationships later on in life. In contrast, inconsistent care and neglect can lead to a pattern of unstable relationships.
How to Build Healthy Relationships
I believe the foundation of a strong relationship is constant and effective communication. You should be interested in the other person and vice versa. Make the time to go beyond routine conversations and connect with each other.
If there are instances when disagreements happens, communication should still be respectful. Instead of being reactive or defensive, a healthy relationship prioritizes listening and being empathic to each other. The ability to communicate well gives people the confidence to be vulnerable and honest, which are traits of a healthy relationship.
Another way for love to flourish is to achieve a balance between self and the relationship. There should be shared goals and values, but at the same time have their own lives. You should be able to keep a strong bond without sacrificing your identity. There is a life outside the relationship.
Finally, love and mental health is at its strongest when there is self-love. Love is not just about other people. It is about yourself. Self-love is an appreciation of who you are and giving importance to your own physical and mental state.
There is a saying that says, “you cannot pour from an empty cup.” It is applicable to many things, including love. Ties with other people, whether in romance or friendship, improve when your well-being is thriving.
Conclusion
Love is not just butterflies in the stomach or a surge of affection. It is the foundation of a person’s well-being. There is more than enough research studies to show that love and mental health are intricately connected. Love improves mental health and mental health affects the ability to foster relationships. Knowing the psychological implications of love lets us understand its importance and why we should actively care for it. Love, when done right, can improve mental health and lead to a more fulfilling life.
Cited Sources
- Cacioppo, S. (2022). Wired for Love: A Neuroscientist’s Journey Through Romance, Loss, and the Essence of Human Connection. Macmillan. ↩︎
- Kiecolt-Glaser JK, Newton TL. Marriage and health: his and hers. Psychol Bull. 2001 Jul;127(4):472-503. doi: 10.1037/0033-2909.127.4.472. PMID: 11439708.
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